Dealing with conflict is difficult
I slapped Mr Anderson around the face with a
glove yesterday morning in Chapel! He was slightly
taken aback but I pointed out that I had just
challenged him to a duel so we proceeded to stand
back-to-back, march five paces and then shoot at
each other (using Nerf guns). Disappointingly for
me, Mr Anderson won. The point was that this was
how arguments were decided two hundred years
ago. If Mr Anderson had refused my challenge – by
turning the other cheek – he would have been
deemed a coward and lost his honour. So duels,
although illegal, were quite a common way to
resolve differences and they often resulted in death.
Thankfully, times have moved on. Or have they?
Maybe the inner-city gang culture which resorts to
violent crime to resolve ‘honour’ is an indication
that society hasn’t moved that far forward after all.
Dealing with conflict is difficult and that is why it is
important to educate children as they are growing.
We often say when they are very young to be kind
and friendly and don’t argue and, of course, that is
the general direction of travel for which we always
strive. But in reality, we can’t be friends with
everyone all the time. There will be differences and
we do fall out with others. The important thing is
to learn how to fall out properly. The strength of a
community is how it deals with moments of
conflict. And learning how to have arguments with
people in the right way is an important part of
growing up and of playing our part in our world.
Turning the other cheek is not cowardly at all; in
fact it often requires more courage. And it doesn’t
mean that one has to be a teddy bear and succumb
to pressure either. One can stand up to a
conflicting view without resorting to violence, anger
or sulkiness. The ability to listen, reason and
compromise is what is required and that is what we
are seeking to give today’s Androvians.