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How to prepare your child for boarding

Mr Tomsett wrote an article about how to prepare your child for Boarding School, which has been published in the Little London Schools Guide Spring 2018.

How to Prepare your child for Boarding School

Boarding at school offers a child the chance to grow as an individual both socially and emotionally. It also offers uninterrupted access to the school’s extra-curricular activities, use of the wonderful school facilities, a readymade second family and, of course, fabulous academic learning.  But it is a big step for a child to move away so it makes sense to prepare them in order to be primed and ready to maximize on the experience.

Check out the detail
In the weeks before you drop your child off for their first night, spend some time together looking at their new school’s boarding booklet and website to help them gather as much information as possible.  Look at a map of the school site and locate where the different facilities are; review the evening and extra-curricular activities on offer and talk through the schools sport, music, art and drama.  If your child is to be a full boarder, review the weekend routine and check what activities are going to be laid on for them on Saturdays and Sundays. 

The bedroom
Sharing a bedroom means more noise and more kit! Therefore, you might like to organise a few sleepovers (with the lights off!) to help your child become acclimatized to sharing room space and to be tolerant of other children in their room.  Your child’s current school might also offer flexi-boarding which could provide a stepping stone to weekly or full time boarding. And, talking of the bedroom, encourage your child to collate a few photographs and small items to personalise the area around their bed to make them feel comfortable and ‘at home’.   

Routine
From wake up to lights out, your child will follow a routine which will make life comfortable and easy for them but it will be even easier if they are well prepared.  Find the boarders’ routine in the boarding booklet and talk it through with your child.  Do they know how to make their bed and can they change the duvet cover?  Can they pack their own schoolbag? Routines help children thrive and flourish and provide them with practical skills for their lives ahead. 

Friendship
A familiar face is often all a child needs to relax.  We suggest you make contact with the new school to see if there are any children living nearby, or from your child’s current school, who will be going to the new school too.  If so, make contact with their parents and invite their child over in the run up to the start of term so that they can keep a look out for each other.  Who knows, they might become lifelong friends.

Homesickness
It happens to all of us, young and old – so do explain to your child that there may be times when they miss their family, home, friends and pets and that this is perfectly normal. When you drop your child off for their first night, we recommend that you do not hang around too long and leave with the minimum amount of fuss.  In order to help children settle, some schools have a minimum contact policy for the first few weeks.  Others are more flexible.  The key point is that every child is different.  Generally, children like to know when they can next speak to or skype home so create a plan and schedule which they can look forward to. You will always be able to contact your child’s Housemaster or Housemistress for updates on your child’s progress.

Most importantly

Tell your child that you have chosen this school because you believe that they will be safe and happy there, that they will make friends a-plenty and that every member of staff is there to help and support them.

The children here at St Andrew’s prep say it better than me though:
“The boarding house is like my family.  I never feel alone.” (Nicolas)  And “The Housemaster and tutors teach us how to be ourselves and to live with our friends from all over the world.  I have learnt so much about the cultures of other countries” (Yan)

Mark Tomsett

Housemaster, St Andrew’s Prep, Eastbourne